The Five People Who Make You YOU

Alex McNeiceUncategorized

The Five People Who Make You You

We are all made up of five people.  If you can know, understand, and align these five people you will truly know yourself, and know where you are going.

So, who are the five people that make you you?

PERSON 1 – Who You Think You Are

Who do you think you are?  What words would you use to describe yourself?  What are your emotions? You characteristics?  Your special traits that make you you?

Now, you’d think this is what really matters, and that you would know who you are, but have you ever looked into……

PERSON 2 – Who Others Think You Are

The best way to find this out is to get other people to copy the above exercise and write down words and phrases that describe you.  What emotions, characteristics and identifying traits do they see in you?

You will find that they do not necessarily match what you thought when describing yourself.  SO, who is correct?  Who knows you best?  The answer is no one does.  This is where you can find……

PERSON 3 – Who You REALLY Are

Ah, the holy grail!  Who you really are.  You will find who you really are lies somewhere in-between the two people above.  You will know many things about yourself that others just won’t see, but at the same time you will be telling yourself things about yourself that simply you think are true, but never come out as real in the world!

Look at the descriptions above and ask the other person why they wrote something that you had written differently.  Are there things that are the same or close?  Are there things that are wildly different?  Find out what people see and why.

When you have considered both of these views, you can have a very honest discussion with yourself about who you really are, and that discovery is one of the most important you will ever make.  Knowing who you really are is the first step to finding out who you could be, and becoming that person.  CONGRATULATIONS, you know yourself much better now!

But, we are not finished yet, because you haven’t considered……

PERSON 4 – Who You Were

We are all changing all the time.  We are very different to who we were many years ago.  Growing, adapting, and learning is key to happiness.

Write a few words about who you used to be.  Choose a time period and describe that person.  Describe your thoughts, feeling, emotions as a teenager, a young adult, 5 years ago, 10 years ago, last year, whatever you choose!

Now, specifically think about two things.  

  • Firstly, are there any traits that you used to have that you are glad you no longer have?  Why don’t you have them anymore?  How did you get rid of them?  What made them change?  Knowing this might help you change more things that you’d like to change!
  • Secondly, are there any traits that you used to have that you wish you still had?  Why don’t you have them anymore?  What happened to lose them?  Why do you wish you still had them?  Do you want them back?  Knowing this can give you a springboard to dramatic change that could simply bring you more joy and happiness.

So, now you know who you are, and who you were, you can reach the promised land of…..

PERSON 5 – Who You Want To Be

As I’ve mentioned previously, growing, adapting, and learning are key to happiness.  The problem is that, without conscious thought, we let the world and other people shape who we are and who we become!  Well, NO MORE!!!!!

You are now wonderfully equipped to take your future into your own hands.  You know everything you need to know to get started.

So, who do you want to be?  Write down some traits, emotions, and feelings you’d like to have as your new normal?  Are you bringing back some lost ones from your past?  Are you stating some new ones?  Describe who you would like to be next week, or next year, or in a few years time.

Now, look at who you are now and decide which of these things has to change to reach this new you.  For each one, come up with a plan to change it.  This might be hard alone, so you might want to find someone to help, but if you choose to go for it alone, I BELIEVE IN YOU!

You have lessons from your own past to guide you.  For things you want back that you lost, you can use the reasons you have found for why you lost them to try to reverse that.  You can think of actions or events that made you lose them and try to resolve those events in your mind and find a way to feel that feeling again.

If there are thing new that you’d like to become, you have personal experience of changing things about your past that you are pleased about changing!  What lessons can you learn from yourself in making that change happen?  How can you use those lessons to either change a current personality trait, or develop a new one that you want?  Many of the answers are already within you!

SUMMARY

So, there you have it, the five people who make you you are:

  • Who you think you are.
  • Who others think you are.
  • Who you really are.
  • Who you were.
  • Who you want to be.

Now, go and find out about your five people.  Love them.  Learn about them.  Accept them.  And use them to make person 5 – who you want to be – the best person you can be.

YOU CAN BE WHOEVER YOU WANT TO BE.

Believe in yourself, understand yourself, and become your best self.

The Four A’s Of Mindset Transformation

Alex McNeiceUncategorized

The Four A’s To Success Mindset Transformation

Successful people have a ‘Success Mindset’.  The have and use thought processes that bring them success. We are not born with a success mindset.  We are not inherently given one.  But we can practice!  We can learn success and learn to use a success mindset.

If you are looking to transform your mindset to one of success, then this is a great start.  ‘The Four A’s To Success Mindset Transformation’ is the system I use to overcome both my own and the mental blocks of the people I coach.  So, let’s get straight to it!

A1 – AWARENESS

Everything starts with awareness.  You’d be shocked at how many people I meet who I can see instantly what is stopping them but they have no idea.  We all have mental blocks, or limiting beliefs, or limiting values, whatever you want to call them!

The starting point it to recognise when you have failed to achieve something, and deeply look at what your were thinking of feeling at the critical point of failure.  What stopped me?  By simply being able to say ‘I failed because…….’ Is a great first step to mindset transformation.

The big key here is not to blame.  Don’t blame yourself, but also hugely important is to not blame other people.  If you have a goal, a target, then you can make it happen.  If it doesn’t happen, don’t blame yourself or blame someone else, simply say to yourself ‘What was I thinking when it went wrong’ or ‘What happened when it stopped progressing’.  Then try to fix that issue for next time.

A2 – ANALYSIS

The next step is to analyse the problem.  This is the step I spend LEAST tie on as it can lead to negativity.  I have read that if you spend 95% of time on a problem, the solution will appear.  I DON’T BELIEVE THAT.  If you spend too much time on the problem and analysis it takes over.

Having said that, you do need to at least analyse it a little!  Spend a little tie thinking why did that emotion happen?  Where did that thought process come from?  Have I always gone into that thought process during similar situations?  What did I feel when I was thinking it?  Have the teachings of my past and my upbringing made that mindset normal for me?

Once you have got an idea of where that mindset came from, you are ready to move this transformation forward!

A3 – ACTION

THE BIG ONE!  So, you’ve recognised an issue (Awareness), and you have understood a little about what it was and where it came from (Analysis).  Now it is time to TAKE ACTION.

What will stop you thinking the same next time?  What will make a difference to the next time you are in a similar situation?

There are two types of action to take.  The first are everyday actions.  Challenge yourself to complete smaller versions of similar tasks and get though them.  If your block was about getting your point across in a conversation, then find someone to talk to about anything and practice.  Ask someone for help and practice with them.  If you stopped something due to confidence, then break the task into small similar tasks and get doing them, learning to be confident on the smaller ones until the bigger one comes along again.

You may decide to read a book on an issue you are having.  There are books on all sorts of limiting believes like confidence, self-esteem, conversations, planning, money mindset, anything.  You could seek help from an expert in that field.

The second type of action are the actions you take leading up to a similar event in the future.  Plan to recognise that the stopping moment is coming, and plan some things you can either do or say to yourself to get you into a positive and success driven mindset at that moment.  These things should be decided in advance, then put into practice at the right moment.  These are harder as it takes practice to recognise the signs that something is coming, but eventually you will use these actions and find them natural, and you will reap the benefits!  Then…..

A4 – ACCOUNTABILITY

I bang on and on and on about it.  It is absolutely THE MOST IMPORTANT THING when it comes to success.  Don’t go it alone!  If you plan on changing yourself with yourself then you will find it so much harder, and many people never improve!

Find someone (family, friend, a coach) and TELL THEM YOUR BLOCK.  Tell them about the three A’s above.  Tell them what you are AWARE of, what your ANALYSIS is, and what ACTION you are going to take, and ask them to check up on you and how you are doing with it.  Ask them to help you come up with actions for it (again, this is where a coach is perfect).

Be accountable for your changes.  Be accountable for your transformation.

So sum up….

AWERENESS – Recognise when a limiting belief happens and what it was.

ANALYSIS – How did you feel?  Why do you have that belief?  Where did it come from?  Does it happen every time?

ACTION – What are you going to do about it?  Are there books, courses or coaches that can help?  Are there small versions of the same task so you can practice getting through the belief in a smaller setting?

ACCOUNTABILITY – Get accountable.  Tell someone about your three A’s above and get them to be the fourth.  Use a coach or mentor, or a family member or friend, and get them to help you and to keep you accountable to your success.

Now, GO AND FIND THOSE BLOCKS, and…

TRANSFORM YOUR MINDSET INTO A SUCCESS MINDSET!!!!

Play The GAME

Alex McNeiceUncategorized

The GAME Method

I don’t like to keep secrets.  And so I’ll be telling you in this blog exactly what I tell people who I am helping.

The GAME Method is a simple series of steps to use to achieve anything.  Whenever I am trying to achieve something, I follow this method.  And you can too (EASILY).

The GAME Method splits your success into four tasks, and if each is followed fully it will lead to a high rate of success!  So, no more delay….

G – Goal Setting

A – Accountability

M – Method

E – Evaluation

G – GOAL SETTING

Whenever you want to achieve something, write it down.  I promise, a goal written down becomes so much stronger.  And when you write it, write it SMART.  SMART targets are nothing new, but for those who are not sure, a smart target is

  • Specific
    • Don’t make the gaol too broad.  ‘More Sales’ or ‘Lose Weight’ is not a specific target.  Put a number on them!
  • Measurable
    • How will you know if you have reached your target?  Make sure your target has a simple method for measuring its success.
  • Attainable
    • Don’t go crazy and shoot too high.  Make your goal something you can realistically achieve in the timeframe you have.
  • Relevant 
    • Don’t just set any old target, make it something that is actually important and relevant to your life or your values.  This way you’ll be more inclined to make it happen.
  • Time Limited
    • Open-ended goals will remain open.  You may never reach them but always say ‘I will one day’.  Put a date on your goal, and hold yourself to that date.

Some people change the above, ‘A’ becomes ‘Actionable’, ensuring that your target is one that you can actually set actions to achieve.  This is important, but I’ll be covering it later in The GAME Method.

A – ACCOUNTABILTY

This is, for me, a HUGE part of being successful.  The biggest mistake you can make is to be only accountable to yourself.

Tell someone about your gaol.  Tell them when your deadline is.  Then tell them if you made it (or get them to check up on you).

Your ‘Accountability Partner’ can be anyone…. A friend, a family member, a coach, an accountability group?  Find someone who will partner with you.  Maybe be their partner too?  Coaches are great for this as they help you set the goal, then keep you accountable for it.

M – METHOD

As mentioned earlier, a target MUST be actionable, therefore set yourself a method!  Your method is your tick sheet of small actions to reach your goal.  Include everything in your method that you can think of, effectively splitting your target into mini tasks.

In science, a method will include what you do, and how you do it, and what equipment you might use.  Do this here as well.  Write a little detail about how you are going to reach your goal to achieve your success.

E – EVALUATION

You may have been successful and achieved your goal.  You may not.  Either way YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING TO LEARN!  

If you were successful, what did you do and how did you do it?  Were there any specific things you did that you can make sure you do in future similar goals?

If you were not successful, why not?  What step in the method did you fall behind or stop?  This is another great reason to have a method written down, you can find the good and the bad far easier!

Use these lessons from your success and your failures to guide you and help you in the future.  Again, write them down so they become a permanent help to you.

FINALLY – REPEAT!!!!!!

Successful people will set a goal, either achieve or miss it, but either way they will SET ANOTHER ONE.  They will go again.  So, I say to you:

PLAY THE GAME AGAIN.

Set out another target sheet that includes Goal, Accountability, Method and Evaluation, and do it.

The GAME Method is very practicable, very repeatable, and will lead you to be very successful if you follow it over and over again.

So, go and get successful!  Set yourself some goals, get accountable, get method writing, and get evaluation…..  go and PLAY THE GAME.